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A naked shroud of the Mission: Impossible star was recently unveiled to celebrate his 25th anniversary with the Church of Scientology. Petersburg, Fla. One particular feature on Cruise's nude shroud is turning heads: can you guess which body part we're talking about?! PICS: Funny penis scenes in movies. The shroud features Cruise with gigantic testicles and an equally impressive penis with very intricate pubic hair detailing. The artists definitely wanted to paint Cruise's manhood in a favorable light. Enormous bulge aside, we're guessing the shroud's junk isn't an exact likeness sorry, Tom!
Tom Cruise's New Naked Scientology Shroud Has Gigantic Testicles and an Equally Impressive Penis
We don't have much more to add, to be honest. What are the chances you'll delay looking at Tom Cruise's cock to read this old garble anyway? Very excited indeed. It taught or taut us more on that school activity trip than sex education ever did. By 3am.